The Exciting Sounds Of Total Irrelevance

by Xerox Feinberg

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WORKS IN PROGRESS more or less

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releases August 5, 2037

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Xerox Feinberg New York, New York

Perpetuating original music a la Prefab Messiah songster Xerox Feinberg.

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Track Name: Wake Up
Try to wake up
From the covers
That smother you

Try to wake up
From the memes
In your dreams

It's so hard to get your feet down to the floor
Somebody's mumbling and they're pointing at the door
That pounding noise is getting harder to ignore

Try to wake up...

Try to wake up
From your notions
And potions, too

Try to wake up
Though no one's checking
If you do

You fell asleep amid a lullaby of Bunk
Your eyes are open as you sleepwalk though the Junk
Now you're hungover and were hardly even Drunk

Try to wake up...
(and go to sleep)
Track Name: Ballad Of A Water Bottle
I am a water bottle
Upsetting your girlfriend
Sitting by your kitchen table
I'm here till the bitter end

I am a water bottle
Belonging to no one
I am your harmless product
Clogging the pacific ocean…

And I wanted to be a solution
But I'm just another piece of pollution
Floating free in the ocean
Floating free in your ocean...

With a cool sip of plastic salvation
I can promise to bring you hydration
Say goodbye to the next generation
Say goodbye…

I am a water bottle
Put your precious lips to mine
I am a water bottle
Convenience is a crime

I am a water bottle
Millions more are here to serve
I'm just a piece of garbage
Like the world that you deserve
Track Name: Sympathy For The Hipster
Don't introduce yourself
Everybody knows the game

We got your number
Yeah you know it
It's a shame

Free range espresso
Vintage vinyl in your hand

Like years ago when punks and hippies
Roamed the land

Sympathy for the Hipster…
No sympathy for the Hipster...

He cut his carbon footprint down to size
So who are they to criticize?

Some say this neighborhood was better in the day
There wasn't cash enough to get your ass to stay
Why fight the shops and bars, The hair, the specs, the pose?
The sea is rising and they're sending in the drones
Track Name: (Legend Of The) Ponderous Oaf
In our land so fair
A curse is in the air

Hark!
Hark!
Hark!

Breaking branches
Shattering stones
Crashing footsteps
Pulverized bones

Press your face
Deep into the dirt
Pray he can't see you
So you don't get hurt

The Ponderous Oaf!
Oaf!
Oaf!
Oaf!

In forest darkness his moldy mood holds sway
No living soul ever makes it through his day
The noble knight comes to save us from himself
To end the legend of the Ponderous Oaf

The Ponderous Oaf!

Now we all are free
He could be you or me
Track Name: Ugly Old Guy
Ugly old guy
Nobody cares about you

Ugly old guy
Doesn't matter what you've been though

Ugly old guy
Your best days are far behind

Ugly old guy
No one cares what's on your mind

Yeah, your hair's looking pretty weird
Yeah, doesn't help with that little beard

Ha ha ha... It'll happen to you
Ha ha ha… It'll happen to you
Ha ha ha… Time will mess with you too

Now your out all night
Dance your life away
But when you're old
You'll know what I say
And I'll be laughing in my grave!

Ugly old guy
Nobody looks at you

Ugly old guy
Who cares what you used to do

Ugly old guy
No one wants you hanging around

Ugly old guy
You just bring everybody down

Yeah, your pants fit pretty bad
Yeah, you look like someone's dad

Ugly old guy
You're not getting any chicks

Ugly old guy
It might help if you were rich
Track Name: Guru
GURU

Everyday of my life
I wake up and I look out my window
and I say to myself
What do I do now?

Go find a Guru
I need a Guru
Go ask a Guru
Gimme a Guru

And I count all the books on the shelf
Try to get myself self help
Come on and give me a clue

I need a Guru
Go Find a Guru
Gimme a Guru
Go ask a Guru
Go find a Guru
Gimme a Guru

Guru, you mystical man
He's gonna lay out a plan
Fix up your karma and fate
He'll screw your head back on straight

Guru gonna whirl you around
till up is sideways and down
Like a flash it's all figured out
For a minute, until the bottom drops out

Everyday of my life
Rub my eyes as I look in the mirror
And I think to myself
These are not my shoes

Don't feed the Guru
Track Name: I Killed A Fly
I KILLED A FLY

didn't mean to do it
there was nothing to it
someone made me do it
trying to live through it

And I wonder what my punishment will be
Everywhere I go I'm still the same old me

they told me too
what could I do
the deed is done
I guess I won

I KILLED A FLY

hope nobody sees
it was him or me
Now I feel so bad
He was like my dad

It's a shame the things we do to get ahead
But my orders were to smash it on the head

it's just the way
things are today
i wanna be rich
karma's a bitch
Track Name: If You Were Here Tonight
Maybe I didn't smoke
The same cigarettes as you
But then again
I don't smoke

Maybe I never could
Get deep enough inside of your head
But you were always trying
So hard to get out...

(chorus)
If you were here tonight
I'd lie and say everything's gonna be alright
If you were here tonight
I'd lie and say everything's gonna be OK

I guess we never were
Half as cool as I hoped
But then again
No one is

Maybe we tried to be
The ones that would get away
But everywhere we went
Was pretty much the same...
Track Name: Your Friends (Can't Help You Now)
You can't hide
From all the crap outside
Pushed it too far
Found holes behind the walls
Stumbled from your comfort zone
In sweaty crowds feel all alone
Random tasks fill your time
Busy signals in your mind

Your friends can't help you now
Your job can't help you now
Your folks can't help you now

But you can try
But they can try
Yeah you can try

Lost your way
A hipster holiday
All their happy talk
Sounds like finger nails on chalk
They just stare with empty eyes
Just one step from selling fries


Your friends can't help you now
Your school can't help you now
Your drugs can't help you now

But they can try
Yeah you can try
Yeah you can try
Track Name: Mindalteringsubstance
You've heard this song before
Shiny things you're looking for
Get really really real
Drown out that modern squeal

Mind Altering... Altering Substance…

All of your screens are on
Won't see until till it's gone
They'll meet your purchase price
Get your consumer device

Mind Altering... Altering Substance…

You gotta go go go...
And find the things you gotta know
you're so beautiful
Mister Donut knows for sure